Many grandparents report feeling exhausted, stressed and depressed with their situation. They have amazing personal resources to cope with their heavy responsibility.
We're not dealing with these issues. We feel isolated, devastated by the lack of care the government has for us and these children. We've worked most of our lives, my husband still does, with failing health he works all the overtime he can. (Grandparent couple 55 & 57, Grandchildren 12, 14 & 15)
Some receive support from their other children, or at least one of them, and their grandchildren benefit from close contact with their aunts, uncles and cousins. However the grandparents are very concerned not to ask too much from their other adult children who often have families and responsibilities of their own.
Our family heavily supported us. If it was not for them we would be in a mess now as it takes a lot of energy at our age to cope with all the emotions and stress involved in doing what we did. (Grandparent couple 57 & 63, Grandchild 8)
Grandparents also gain considerable support from community services providers such as community health centres and specialist children's services. These organisations may have established grandparent support groups for their clients and provide ongoing staff support, venues and other resources to assist the group. Community service providers often do not have the resources for much more than a meeting place for a grandparents self-help group.
For we carers at Nepean Kinship Care Support Group life would have been very difficult to make sense of without the support of the PANOC [Physical Abuse and Neglect Of Children] team at Wentworth Area Health Service. The shared counselling support group that was started by PANOC has continued for over 2 years because its members were reluctant to let go of the lifeline of understanding, empathy and compassion that we have for one another, which we have not experienced elsewhere. (Grandmother 62, Grandchild 3)
Many mention the support they receive from their church and other charitable groups.
My mum suggested I try the [Salvation] Army and I would most highly recommend them to any person in need. My life was and still is to a certain extent out of control. I had no one to turn to because in these situations you lose all your friends who turned out not to be true friends anyway, if they are not in this circle of addiction they just don't understand where you are coming from...(Grandparent couple 47 & 49, Grandchildren 7 & 8)
Many grandparents are members of grandparent support groups and usually benefit greatly from the social and emotional support they receive.
...One day I found another parent like us; we started talking in depth and I found out there was a group in the Southern Highlands called “Off Our Rockers”. I got in contact with this group and then decided that a group like this should be started in the Illawarra as there was NO support for grandparents with their grandchildren. I approached Jayne [Salvation Army officer] and together we started our own group off. We had NO funding from anybody. I started out by advertising in the local papers and sent letters to every school in the Illawarra also the community centres and preschools all at my own expense. From there we started getting other people ringing in and coming to meetings. (Grandparent couple 47 & 49, Grandchildren 7 & 8)
Most grandparents also draw great strength from their love for their grandchildren.
We wouldn't part with these kids. They're our life. They are good kids. (Grandparent couple 57 & 59, Grandchildren 2, 11 & 14).