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Topic 1: Introduction to working with men

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The historical development of Men and Family Relationship (MFR) programs

The context of working with men in Australia only formally commenced 10 years ago. Prior to this time, few people were employed to work specifically with men (except for domestic violence programs). Since then, new funding has emerged from either Commonwealth/State/Territory Governments or private trusts/foundations. The Bernard van Leer Foundation (www.bernardvanleer.org/) provided the initial funding to the Engaging Fathers Project (www.newcastle.edu.au/centre/fac/efp/index.html) in NSW for developing their men and boys programs.

Since 1998, the most significant funding for working with men has been though the Department of Families, Housing, Community Services and Indigenous Affairs (FaHCSIA) and its funding of Men and Family Relationship (MFR) services (www.fahcsia.gov.au)

This initiative was first announced in November 1997, with funding of six million dollars over four years through the Partnerships against Domestic Violence Strategy Programs. It initially delivered MFR services through 18 locations with a further 20 locations being established in July 2008. The funding of a national telephone line to provide support for men and family relationships was a strong cornerstone from 1997. In 2002, Mensline Australia formally commenced as the provider of this service.

An independent evaluation of MFR programs indicated a high level of acceptance and support by men. Sixty seven organisations are now delivering a suite of early intervention and prevention family relationship services to men in over 121 locations throughout Australia (FaHCSIA, 2008).

In order to understand the value of MFR services, an evaluation of the initiative was undertaken from November 2000 to August 2002. This evaluation focussed on two key issues:

The evaluation found that MFR services were very successful in providing support in rural and regional areas of Australia, where men’s services had been practically nonexistent to a very diverse range of men (e.g. from culturally, linguistically and sociallydisadvantaged backgrounds and Indigenous men), and at key life transition stages such as the birth of a first child, separation and retirement.

The evaluation also helped to debunk the popular assertions that men:

In fact, it found that MFR clients responded very strongly to the existence of the men’s service. Men were quoted as making statements such as:

The experiences of the services clearly demonstrated that men are open to relationship support, provided that the approach is male-friendly and non-judgmental.

The major keys to success identified in the evaluation, still apply today:

Since MFR programs were developed, a strong series of MFR practitioner based networks have emerged to represent either states or regional areas in Australia. These informal networks have focussed on developing the practice of working with men, sharing resources and building a wider range of effective frameworks to support men and their families. The website www.mfrn.net.au is used to share information about practice-based issues for working with men, to distribute useful resources, and increase awareness about regular national and regionally based MFR Forums. Membership is free and practitioners who have an interest in working with men and family relationships are encouraged to join.

The days of deficit-based models are numbered, with a growing body of knowledge and expertise in developing strategies for engaging with men. Despite these encouraging findings, the evaluation also noted a high level of unmet need for services specifically targeted to men. The overwhelming response from men was to ask for more services specifically designed for them, and for better publicity to increase awareness of these services.

The evaluation also showed, contrary to popular belief, that men have a high degree of commitment to their families and are motivated towards the development and maintenance of successful relationships. Men were found to be generally willing to talk about their relationships and learnt new skills when the context was welcoming and the adopted approach was appropriate. This feedback also fits with the research documented by Don Edgar in Men, Mateship, Marriage (Edgar, 1997) who identified that most men insist that their ‘best mate’ (usually seen as a male bonding term) is ‘me missus’. In his research as the foundation director of the Australian Institute of Family Studies, Edgar found that across all socio-economic groups, the one person men could disclose their real feelings to was their partner.

Through the evaluation, barriers to men accessing services were identified as follows:

Other examples of the significant change in men accessing community services is Mensline Australia (www.menslineaus.org.au) providing a professional 24 hours a day, seven days a week national telephone support service (1300 789 978) for men and their families. Mensline Australia receives between 50,000 to 70,000 calls each year. Also, over 200 Men’s Sheds now operate across Australia. Two key websites that document the significant breadth of this new phenomenon are the Australian Men’s Sheds Association (www.mensshed.org) and Mensheds Australia (www.mensheds.com.au).

During 2006, national research into men’s sheds was conducted in South Australia (http://www.avetra.org.au/publications/archives.shtml). It indicated that men are accessing these sheds in very large numbers (Golding, 2006). Men’s sheds have allowed men to come together with shared interests and find new ways to feel useful and contribute again to their communities through learning or sharing their skills, making friends, networking and accessing health information programs and opportunities.

The Mensline Australia Call Back Service (CBS) which is an extension of the Mensline Australia telephone support service, originated from growing concerns about male callers who were lacking support as a result of being geographically or socially isolated. The service was developed to respond to a number of barriers experienced by men including, long waiting lists, a lack of services in rural or remote areas, and the cost of ongoing support.

The CBS model deviates from traditional telephone counselling services which tend to respond as passive recipients of crisis calls, permitting only the most pressing issues to be addressed. Instead, CBS counsellors work with men over time, encouraging them to tell their stories, providing relationship education, assisting them to take practical steps towards their goals, and creating linkages to ongoing support, where necessary.

During 2007, CBS provided ongoing support to more than 200 men each month and continues to receive over 60 referrals a month. The service provides exemplary evidence, highlighting men’s ability and interest in seeking out help and utilising services that are specifically tailored to respond to their needs and help-seeking preferences.

The significance of the non-deficit perspective

Traditionally, outside of politics or the workplace, a comical, yet negative view of men has been portrayed socially or in the media. Amongst the many and varied descriptions of masculinity, the non-deficit perspective (King, 2000; King, 2001; King, Sweeney & Fletcher, 2004; Hawkins & Dollahite, 1997) identifies that for many men, the key relationships in their lives, are more significant than previously acknowledged. In a family context, the man’s relationship with his children (biological, step or close relationship) is often the pinnacle expression of this importance. In health, a similar position exists and is called the salutogenic approach (menshealth.uws.edu.au). This approach calls for a truly health promoting approach rather than a pathologyfocussed one. This involves questioning some of the stereotypes around men’s health issues.

This positive connection for men and family relationships can be viewed as ‘the quiet place within’ that many Australian men talk about least. It is a personal space that men rarely share. Until recently, it was not until men approached the end of their life, that they often expressed regret for spending too much time at work and not enough time with their family. This reflection is still experienced today, as many men only start talking about the importance of their family relationships after a crisis such as family separation has occurred.

Australian men are becoming more vocal about this quiet place, i.e. the importance of their connection with their family, particularly their children. Andrew King refers to a ‘quiet men’s revolution’ occurring throughout Australia. This men’s revolution is not as vocal as the women’s movement, but it is expressed as men talk about achieving a better balance between work and family demands. The change is seen by how men behave differently as they walk hand-in-hand with their children and proudly push the pram. Some men identify the reason for attending a fathering program as wanting to raise their children differently to how they were raised. The birth of a child is now a ‘wake-up call’ for many young men and an opportunity for them to review the choices they make in life, and provides the motivation to take greater responsibility and develop stronger relationships. Many men, who are now grandfathers, talk about the significant value of developing a closer relationship with their grandchild than what they had, or were allowed to have, when their children were young.

The challenging side of men’s behaviour, however, still exists. It is in this context that many men and community services operate. The challenge for programs is to engage men in working with this ‘quiet space’. The non-deficit perspective does not condone inappropriate male behaviours but harnesses the positive motivations that make change a reality. Once this ‘quiet space’ is entered and men are engaged into accessing services, the skills used by professional workers in working with women can be applied to working with men.

Current challenges

While significant achievements have occurred in working with men (O’Brien & Rich, 2002), the challenge is still enormous. The Western Australian Government Report that reviewed Family and Parent Support Services for Men (Nixon, 1999) identified that men have major health problems. They have high rates of depression, suicide, violence, drug and alcohol use and fatal motor vehicle accidents.

The report recognises that there is still a strong belief that men do not ask for help but fix themselves. Promotion of men and family relationship services still needs improvement as many men view the word ‘counselling’ as a punitive response for workplace misdemeanours (Nixon, 1999). It is still common for men to remark ‘I never thought such services for men existed’ when they first come into contact with MFR programs.

The inflexibility of the Australian workplace (including challenges in balancing work and family needs) and the widespread existence of family violence are still significant issues that confront programs because men usually access programs only when a crisis occurs. Men’s health programs recognise that men visit their doctor less than women and seek help only after a crisis has occurred (Nixon, 1999). A variety of public awareness campaigns have been useful in promoting a responsive environment that encourages the proactive view that it is okay for men to seek help before the crisis occurs.

Principles for effective practice

Eight principles have been identified for working effectively with men:

  1. The importance of perceived equality.
  2. The existence of ‘window periods’ where men access support.
  3. The need for men’s services to be distinguished from general services.
  4. The value of personal recommendation about services.
  5. The importance of flexible service delivery.
  6. Client involvement in program development.
  7. The solution focussed approach.
  8. Local area coordination.

(www.groupworksolutions.com.au/_literature_20892/the_quiet_revolution)

1. The importance of perceived equality

When a man makes an initial contact with a program, the immediate environment and openness of staff towards him, will influence his level of trust. Most men enter new situations with suspicion about what will be expected of them and they rely on visual cues that suggest they can relax (King, Sweeney & Fletcher, 2004).

When there is a significant power difference between men and the service providers, men will be more cautious and wary of engagement. This is why programs with a higher level of service user participation are more effective in engaging men. This emphasis on equality is reflected in the notion of ‘mateship’ and has been a defining feature of Australian culture since settlement (Colling, 1992) and pre-existed in Indigenous Australia.

Groups are best supported by men when they are attended by a diverse and mixed range of participants who can both teach and learn with and from, other participants. The most successful groups occur when men can hear from each other about a variety of backgrounds and experiences concerning fatherhood, family, work etc. Conversely, the men’s groups that struggle for attendance numbers are often focussed too narrowly on attracting only participants that are disadvantaged or receive welfare.

The organisation’s environment is a key issue that men assess quietly when they experience a new situation. They decide if the environment is a threat or one in which they can relax. This is a similar process to how women respond. However, a key difference is that most men do not talk through their decision making and how they responded (at that time, or retrospectively). Many women will talk through this experience with a friend or other person and use this reflection to reconsider what they need to do.

Many organisations have found it useful to display positive posters. These posters are rich in Australian images of ‘perceived equality’ or close connection with important relationships, like children.

For posters and booklets, visit:

2. The existence of ‘window periods’ where men access support

For some men experiencing problems in their lives, there is the potential for a ‘window period’ during which they are more likely to access services for assistance. If men experience high levels of frustration and are unable to access services because of long waiting lists or complicated referral procedures, they are likely to give up trying and find other solutions to deal with their problems. These solutions frequently include ignoring the problem, or reacting in more aggressive ways because of their pent up feelings.

Some organisations have attempted to make intake procedures and personal information forms more user-friendly as men have a higher level of frustration when they do not understand these processes. Due to the existence of illiteracy in the adult community, intake procedures need to allow for supporting men who may not feel confident reading or writing in English.

3. The need for men’s services to be distinguished from general services

Programs for men need to have a strong branding about being male focussed or for fathers. Unless the words men, dad, uncles, pops or fathers are used in the program title, they assume that the program is not relevant to them. There was a significant increase in men accessing early childhood centres when they used specific fliers that used the word ‘dads’ and indicated the relevance of the program to fathers (Fletcher, Hahn & Gifford, 2002). When invited by their children, men attended special events in such large numbers, that the early childhood centres or schools struggled to cope with the demand.

4. The value of personal recommendation about services

In the initial stages of operation, many men’s programs experience low numbers of referrals and participants. In this start-up period, professionals need to persevere when the initial response by men to a program is not as high as anticipated. This is an experience that occurs in all community programs, however, when low client numbers occur in male focussed programs it is easily interpreted as an indicator of male disinterest.

It is only after a period of time that programs develop a routine and consistency in service provision. This may include ongoing support groups, regular educational groups or even one-day workshops that are run every six months. It is the consistency over a long period, which builds a program’s reputation as being effective and worthwhile. Many men will attend programs because of the recommendation of friends, mates or family members.

One of the strongest forms of marketing occurs when someone who a man trusts, recommends they should access a particular program. This referral is more effective when the client is given a direct telephone number and a specific name of a contact person at the service. Men may stop seeking help when they feel frustrated by their difficulties in contacting someone or accessing support.

5. The importance of flexible service delivery

Men’s services need to provide a range of group programs that offer choice. Men have a higher level of commitment when they can choose their level of involvement.

Some of these choices for men include:

Best practice has ensured the development of a diverse range of local initiatives that respond to men’s needs (O’Brien & Rich, 2002), and avoid the ‘one-size fits all’ approach to service delivery.

The following are a range of programs for men that have emerged in Australia from 1998 to 2008:

Men approach community organisations to meet their specific and immediate needs. When agencies provide a number of the above programs, they are more likely to cater for the diverse range of men’s needs. Men often decide if a community program is relevant to their needs in the first few minutes of initial contact, when they are either talking on the telephone or walking in the front entrance of an organisation.

6. Client involvement in program development

It is important for service providers to involve their male clients in shaping and determining the most effective strategies to achieve program outcomes. When services are developing new programs or groups for men, it is vital to establish local reference groups that involve the target group of men. These reference groups can provide important feedback about program direction, marketing, and ambassadors who can personally recommend the program to other men.

Some men, who receive valuable support from a community program, have a strong interest in volunteering and supporting the program’s further development. This energy is a tremendous resource, and added to this, adequate training and mentoring can result in positive outcomes for both the men and the service. New generations of men are emerging who have the experience to engage and support men who are not presently accessing men and family relationship programs.

7. The solution focussed approach

Men prefer solution focussed activities rather than counselling sessions (Nixon, 1999). The focus is not on feelings but improved relationships with significant people in the men’s lives. A key factor when using a solution focussed framework is the adoption of a non-deficit approach to working with men (King, 2000). The non-deficit approach (King, 2000; King, 2001; King, Sweeney & Fletcher, 2004; Hawkins & Dollahite, 1997) is an invaluable model that does not condone inappropriate behaviour but emphasises the importance of the relationship between men and their children.

The solution focussed approach also works well because it uses active solutions to current problems and concerns and involves practical solutions and tools.

8. Local area coordination

A defining feature of the past six years for men’s programs has been the development of state based support networks. Due to the low number of men employed in community welfare/health programs, worker isolation was a key issue discussed at the 2004 National Men and Family Relationships Forum. The state and regional based networks have been an essential support for these workers. The network meetings have provided opportunities for sharing information and allowed for the exploration of issues in greater depth. The MFR Network website www.mfrn.net.au encourages sharing of this information and mutual learning.

These networks allow for the development of useful partnerships that improve practice. When men and family relationships providers run programs in partnership with universal community services such as maternal and child health, community health centres, maternity hospitals, playgroups, or kindergartens, the involvement of men is normalised and the programs are more likely to succeed. Many men’s programs begin in conjunction with women’s programs. Two fathers’ centres in Western Sydney used the same premises as women’s programs, but operated outside of normal working hours. During the day the program focussed on working with women and in the evening the program focussed on working with men.

Additional initiatives and networks that have been developed include the following:

The Blokes Card

A new wallet-sized card listing nationally based emergency contacts is proving very popular with men. The program produced the Blokes Card as part of their efforts to improve men’s access to information and services in their local area.

Go to www.bensoc.org.au/uploads/documents/blokescard-nov2007.pdf to view a PDF version of the card.

Engaging Fathers Program — Newcastle University

The Engaging Fathers Program at Newcastle University has developed and documented a large range of resources that promote father-inclusive practice.

The primary reasons for father-inclusive practice are based on the following evidence:

The website also contains information about capacity building and the competencies needed by professionals to work with men (www.newcastle.edu.au/centre/fac/efathers/includingfathers/Assets/docs/framework/capacity-building-fip.pdf). The competencies indentified at the Newcastle Father-Inclusive Practice Forum are as follows:

Access to other networks

The Australian Camp Connect Association (www.campconnect.org.au/resources_kids. shtml) website has a tremendous range of networking links. The Australian Camp Connect Association is committed to helping ensure that the relationship fathers (or significant males) have with their children is one based on ‘engagement’, active participation, fulfilment, trust, respect, love and of course ... some serious fun!

The connections on their site are divided into:

Throughout this time, a few key networks have developed. The Australasian Men’s Health Forum (www.menshealthaustralia.net) is a national organisation, made up of a diverse community of men working in men’s organisations, who are committed to encouraging, supporting and promoting the health and wellbeing of men and boys.

The Australasian Men’s Health Forum believes that:

The Australasian Men’s Health Forum has a range of good network resources and Mensline Australia (www.menslineaus.org.au/ServiceDirectory.aspx) has a comprehensive range of local resources.

The Fatherhood Institute has an excellent website at www.fatherhoodinstitute.org and provides international leadership in fatherhood and social policy issues. The Institute:

Other international resources include the Father Involvement Initiative Ontario Network (FII-ON) whose web address is www.cfii.ca/fiion/. FII-ON has a longterm vision and strong commitment which have led to some significant collective achievements involving over 25 communities and several provincial and national partnerships. An excellent resource they were involved in developing, in Canada, is the 24-Hour Cribside Assistance: The New Baby Manual for Dads (www.bcbabyfriendly.ca/BabyManualforDads.pdf). This maintenance-themed manual explores the important skills fathers bring to parenting newborn babies.

Despite the availability of these national networks, there is still the need to further support the sharing of knowledge through the writing of journal articles and the provision of local groups that involve a small group of local workers meeting on a regular basis, to develop stronger partnerships between services, reflect on and learn from, working with men.

IconComplete this organisational checklist for working with men. It identifies your program’s strengths and challenges when working with men.

Referrals work more easily with men being more likely to contact a new program when they are given a specific name of a person to ring, the phone number and a strong recommendation. Avoid just giving the program name and number.

Make sure you update any websites with your own local program details.

An initial project for many networks is to create a booklet that highlights relevant local services for men. Many men, when faced with a crisis, have little understanding of support services or organisations and who they need to contact. An example of this is the Bloke’s Book (www.blacktown.nsw.gov.au/our-city/community-directory/the-blokes-book.cfm). This book can be used as a template to replicate in many other communities as it provides topics of interest and contains generic national services.

Remember to focus on the principles for effective practice when working with men:

  1. Importance of perceived equality.
  2. Existence of ‘window periods’ where men access support.
  3. The need for men’s services to be distinguished from general services.
  4. The value of personal recommendation about services.
  5. The importance of flexible service delivery.
  6. Client involvement in program development.
  7. Solution focussed approach.
  8. Local area coordination.

Remember what influences men the most when they first access a program:

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Topic 2: Working with men as fathers

Preface