11. Implementation: Some practical tips
There is no one accepted or correct way to include fathers in service delivery. Every practitioner will need to find their own starting point and pathway to make their services more accessible and responsive to the needs of the fathers and families in their catchment; however an ‘Engaging Fathers Policy’ would be a good start. Once you have done this invite your co-workers to be part of the picture. It is important to ensure that everyone is aware and supports the father-inclusive goal.
This section will provide you with some ideas to help you become more accessible and responsive to the needs of fathers in the context of your existing services.
Organisational environment
- A clear conceptual framework. Adding something to an existing program may not be helpful or effective. Taking the time to put together a strategic plan before implementing an initiative is important.
- Strong and respectful leadership. This needs to be modelled at all levels within the organisation.
- A range of activities to meet needs. Activities should encompass both prevention and intervention. Programs designed just to support divorced or separated fathers are necessary but so are projects that provide on-going support and information on healthy child development.
- Provide opportunities for fathers to participate at every stage ranging from planning to evaluation. Including fathers in the planning process is imperative in making sure they buy into the program. This will ensure participation and provide the impetus in creating positive outcomes that will lead to a positive evaluation of the project.
- The ability to strengthen public opinion. Organisational support is critical to the ongoing sustainability of fathering initiatives and to raise awareness of the many issues facing fathers.
- Provide a support network for project workers and volunteers. Many project and program staff or volunteers work in isolation and need to feel connected to other organisational staff.
- Quality partnerships. Choosing appropriate and committed partners in the beginning may lead to quality relationships and buy-in at a later time.
- Stable and diverse funding. Financial security is a perpetual challenge and having a variety of sources may be useful in helping to provide program consistency. If there is only one source and this source is withdrawn then the program is often in danger of not continuing.
- Evaluation processes. Evaluation must be ongoing, effective and based on an organisations’ strategic goals and objectives.
- Processes to ensure sustainability. Having only one committed staff member may help your organisation progress father-inclusive practice related goals but this commitment may not be sustained by your organisation if that person leaves. You can help ground father-inclusive practice in your organisation as an important aspect of holistic service delivery by ensuring you have written policies supported by staff training and orientation processes.
- Physical Environment. Is your environment one
where fathers feel comfortable? Men can be quick to tune into suspicion,
feelings of threat or safety and even just others who are obviously comfortable
with them around. The immediate environment or openness of staff towards
them will influence their level of trust and decision to trial your services.
You will need to create a safe environment for men to engage and talk openly.
First impressions are lasting and if negative, increase the likelihood of
negative word of mouth among their friends and peers within your community.
Some tips to create a father friendly environment are:
- positive poster images of fathers and children on the walls
- reading material appropriate to men while they wait, perhaps magazines on themes such as cars, fishing, sport, current affairs or the day’s newspaper
- neutral tones in the reception area rather than pinks and pastels
- have male staff who could greet new male clients
- easy access to and from the car park and public transport
- have events, activities or groups that can be held outdoors.
Perceived equality is an important issue when working with men. This is the reason why the centre’s environment is important as men will assess if it feels welcoming or not. However, one certainty is that most men will not talk about it, but it will influence their actions. They are less likely to go in!
Andrew
Client focus
Meeting a new client
On arrival, greet the service user promptly and with a smile and a handshake if appropriate or culturally acceptable. The simple act of shaking hands, for many men, can symbolise a higher level of respect. Use open, strong and confident body language; this indicates a sense of equality. A useful strategy is to practice approaches to greeting fathers in your staff meetings and constructively critique each other’s attempts. In addition, be prepared to outreach to fathers in their community environment rather than expecting them to generally come to your service.
Talking to a new client
- Use appropriate language to show a respect for the importance of family relationships in men’s lives.
- Be child focussed when talking to fathers. Fathers are motivated by their
children, so directing your interest to the parent-child relationship is
a good way of getting
fathers involved in your organisation. - Let the father know about services or programs he may be interested in and use specific names of people he can chat to.
- Always remember, the language you use when talking to fathers must be relevant, honest, and direct. Use language that is clear and concise, avoiding jargon.
- Be aware of the father’s body language and need for personal space.
Go slowly (and build contact)
Maybe you have been thinking about all the things that fathers could get involved in if they really wanted to. For fathers, however, just turning up may be a big step. The stronger the informal contacts, the more natural it will seem to fathers to get involved. Just having the workers say ‘hello’ as they pass, or addressing the fathers by name as they come to pick up kids can make a difference.
Program models
Types of programs for fathers and their families
Services for fathers can be delivered in many ways; either in men only groups or mixed. Some examples of what others have found successful include:
Group discussions and support groups for fathers
Fathers meet together to discuss issues around fatherhood and their relationships. This helps create an environment of support for fathers in their role; fathers talk about their childhood and about their role model(s) and fathers feel free to discuss their views and ideas on fatherhood in a friendly, supportive environment.
Group discussions for new fathers and fathers to be
These groups provide an opportunity for fathers to discuss their partner’s pregnancy, meet with other new fathers and explore their own feelings on fatherhood. Design the sessions to allow for discussion of issues and expectations and to explore fears and myths surrounding pregnancy, childbirth, caring for a newborn, breastfeeding, the father’s role and so on.
Workshops on development of specific abilities
Workshops on individual or parenting abilities, on conflict resolution, time management, communication skills or classes on house maintenance, safety, set-up for children, family work division and so on.
Information session or conferences (one-time programs)
A social worker could present some information on the importance of fathering to the group. Information sharing for separated or divorced fathers on child custody, fathers’ rights and more.
Press conferences, panel discussions, meetings, newsletters, celebrating and informing the public and organisations about the importance of fatherhood.
Father-child activities
Activities for fathers and their children; e.g. bowling, museum visit, park day.
Socialisation workshops for fathers and children.
Fathers and children build something together; e.g. a simple construction / carpentry project like a push car or bird feeder.
Recreation / social opportunities
Being active is a great way to deal with life’s stressors and open the mind to new ideas and learnings. These types of activities also allow fathers the opportunity to develop rapport with other fathers. Recreational activities such as children versus fathers contact games such as no-contact oz-tag or soccer.
One of the key moments in the antenatal class for expectant fathers is when I ask ‘So where, exactly, was your father at the moment when you came into the world?’ Even those who say ‘Wouldn’t have a clue’ have a look that also says ‘Gee that’s worth finding out…. I might ask about that’.
Richard
Types of groups for fathers
There are three basic types of groups that can be offered to men or fathers:
Learning groups are set up for participants to gain a new set of tools/skills for parenting or enhance existing parenting abilities. They may include presentations, role-plays, and practical exercises.
Support groups are where participants face common experiences such as prenatal, separation, divorce, children with disabilities. The groups can be run on a weekly or on a less frequent basis.
The open discussion group provides support and learning through sharing common needs, experiences and knowledge. This can lead to the building of networks and relationships between the fathers and various service providers and raise awareness of issues.
Remember – the choice of programs or services will depend on:
- the target population of fathers that are being served
- the strengths of your organisation
- unique qualities of your community.
The focus should be on programs for fathers that are organised, open-ended and on-going. (Beauregard & Brown 2000).
Facilitation and referral
General tips for facilitating groups for fathers and men
When working with groups of men in general:
- programs need to be located where fathers and children live, play, work or use child care. You will need to be strategic when determining the best place to hold groups
- sometimes it is good to open each group with a physical ice breaker as physical activities can assist in alleviating some initial discomfort and nervousness. Sitting still and having to rely on language is not as comfortable for men, so even if the motion is as little as drawing or bouncing a ball, it takes the focus away from talking
- make tasks clear (avoid setting them up to look stupid). Have written instructions setting out the task and someone to explain the informal rules (e.g. ‘We leave the paints over here’).
- hear men out: find out their interests
- play down occupations when making introductions. This can lead to some men being more self-conscious because of their occupation and may lead to men shutting down and not participating or sharing in the group. In groups, men can often create an unspoken hierarchy based on ‘who does what job’. This hierarchy can become an un-useful dynamic in later facilitating discussion
- ask men: what do you think instead of what do you feel? Keep discussions in general very solution focussed
- make the group activity based, not just information based
- be prepared to be tested over and over again; and be prepared to prove yourself over and over
- have a sense of humour
- assume that all men can be reached no matter what their background, attitude or age
- look for opportunities to meet specific needs. Once a man knows you are there to help him, you begin to build trust
- follow up – if you have invited a man to come to an event and he doesn’t show up, call or visit to find out why
- be flexible – hours of classes need to change with the seasons to accommodate overtime work schedules and seasonal work
- hire staff who are sensitive to the needs of the fathers and can relate to them verbally and culturally
- hold classes in the community. Consider providing transportation, food and childcare (especially for young parents).
Tips for female facilitators of men’s groups
Both women and men can do excellent work with fathers. Not every position needs a male worker (or a man who is a father). Female group facilitators can utilise the following tips for successful group work with men:
- Prepare staff for a male environment. The majority of social service and family resource staff are female and will not initially be used to an all-male environment
- Be convinced yourself before you try to convince others about involving more men. If you are not convinced, you won’t be able to convince others
- Engage with the fathers’ strengths, their values and their style of communication and listen carefully to the unique stories that men bring to parenting
- Go slowly. Try a few ‘fathers only’ events before plunging in
- Let men know you are the facilitator, not the expert
- Be patient and don’t give up!
Making effective referrals for men
- It is often useful to make the first phone call together.
- When providing referral details to men, use specific names of who to contact rather than centralised numbers. This will make them feel more comfortable and supported and they will also be more likely to make contact.
- Sometimes it is useful to coach the client so they know what parts of their story it is important to divulge to referral services and what is unnecessary.
- Be sure that the sector jargon you use is understandable to fathers and avoid using abbreviations.
It is important to use language that identifies this event or program ‘is for fathers’. One father reflected at a fathers and kids evening in a school one evening, ‘If you had said it was for parents and kids, I would not have come. However since it was for fathers and kids, I made sure I was here’. An Early Childhood Centre can do this by saying in their promotion–‘We work with mothers and fathers who have children aged 0-5 years’.
Andrew
Program promotion
If you haven’t taken the time to discuss recruitment then you may have a program with no participants. You will also need to be patient as developing a group takes time and energy when dealing with this hard to reach client group. When promoting your service to fathers, consider these handy hints:
- Don’t just wait for fathers to come to you. Be active and seek out fathers in places such as schools, religious organisations, sporting events, fetes and market days. Stand out and surprise them with fatheroriented activities (e.g. ask them about their wants and needs, get their address/ phone number, invite them to a father’s meeting, or arrange a BBQ as a setting for discussion, etc). Waiting for fathers to come to you is often an access barrier and presents additional service delivery issues.
- Think about where fathers are already involved in your service. They might be dropping children off or waiting outside the fence or reading the mail-outs sent to mothers. Many services have been surprised at how many small points of contact can be found where fathers already have ‘some’ connection with the service. By conducting a small audit of all contacts your service and its staff has with fathers you will find that there is great potential for engagement already.
- Programs for parents need to have a strong branding about including the male parent. Unless the word ‘father(s)’ is used in the program title or promotion, men assume that the program is not relevant to them. For non-biological fathers, the phrase father or father figure is widely understood to mean step fathers, uncles, etc. Indigenous publicity often spells it out as Dads, Uncles and Pops.
- Rename activities to be more father-inclusive, i.e. mother’s group to parent’s group. Emphasise in your promotional material that the group is for mothers, fathers and other care givers.
- Revamp your website to reflect your organisation’s father-inclusive attitude and advertise father programs.
- Contact the local media or newspaper to do a short story on the services you offer to fathers. Doing this around Father’s Day will gain the most media interest
- Take advantage of Father’s Day and do a fathers’ BBQ or big breakfast.
- use a child inclusive approach by asking children at a school to design an invitation that invites their fathers to a special father oriented event, like a BBQ or a father/ child play day.
- Revise existing brochures, pamphlets, parenting handouts, event schedules,
calendars, and communication tools to reflect the fathering role, (e.g.
father/child photo on the brochure) and distribute them at some of the following
community access locations:
- hospitals
- medical centres
- child care centres
- early learning centres
- community centres
- religious organisations
- schools/ pre-schools
- family planning/resource centres
- community service agencies
- shopping centres
- drop-in centres